i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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