she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
