Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
