Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
