weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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