I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
