Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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