I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
should my penis look like a turkey
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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