you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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