The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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