He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
