I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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