you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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