"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
