I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
