careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
