Tell her she can't have a vagina
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
