pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He shit in the fireplace
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
