Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
