He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What drink are we having for lunch?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
