My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I need moral support for this bender
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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