so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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