i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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