Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
