wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
