remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize