Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
