we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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