My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
