i permit you to call me
well you can't waste a boner
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
