Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
