I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
