You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
