i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
