I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
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