Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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