Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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