People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
