Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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