do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
