Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
