i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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