i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
