Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
