what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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