ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
