I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
