Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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