did you get engaged???
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
