i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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