I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We don't watch enough power rangers
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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