Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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