i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
