rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
