brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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