if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
