i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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