we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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