and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
