are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
