He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
