You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
