sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
