K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
