At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
