GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
