I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
